


Poison

by Annide



Series: Let Me Go [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, Guilt, M/M, Post 9x10 Roadtrip, Profound Bond, Suicidal Dean, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-18
Updated: 2014-01-18
Packaged: 2018-01-09 02:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1140608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annide/pseuds/Annide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set maybe a week or two after 9.10 Roadtrip. Dean went to hunt Gadreel with Crowley, as the promo for 9.11 said.</p><p>This is what happens after it's done. When Gadreel is dead. When Dean has cleaned up his mess and finds himself alone, with no purpose left.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poison

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Poison](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6306400) by [Aclaude (Annide)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annide/pseuds/Aclaude)



Dean and Crowley had found Gadreel and successfully killed him. Crowley had just said goodbye. He was going back to hell to resume his role of King. Dean had no purpose left. As he had said before, he was poison. He had caused the death of so many friends. All he ever brought to people was pain and suffering. Just think about what he did to Sam. He was so selfish and unwilling to let him go that he let an angel into him and as a result Kevin died.

And now, Dean had cleaned up his mess. Sam was free and Gadreel was dead. He could let go now. There was no point in going on like this. He could just stop it now. Put an end to the suffering he caused to everyone he loved. Sam and Cas would be fine, and better off if he was being honest. Dean drank the last of the whisky and put the gun in his mouth. But just as he was about to pull the trigger, a strong hand took the gun from him and threw it across the room.

Dean looked up. Castiel was standing right in front of him and he looked pissed. Kind of like that time he almost beat him to death for wanting to say yes to Michael. Castiel took him by the collar and lifted him up to his feet, bringing the desperate man’s ear close to the angel’s mouth.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Cas yelled.

Dean didn’t answer. What was he suppose to say? He already told the angel everything. Cas knew exactly how guilty he felt. He knew exactly why Dean wanted to end his own life.

“Did you really think I was going to let you do this?”

“I’m poison, Cas. If I stay, all I’ll ever do is hurt you and Sam and everyone.”

“And you think this wouldn’t hurt your brother? That it wouldn’t hurt _me_?”

Dean didn’t dare look the angel in the eyes. He just looked slightly over Cas’ shoulder in the general direction the gun had been thrown. He wasn’t really standing either. Cas was holding him up and Dean would fall on the floor if the angel ever let go. But it didn’t seem like he was going to, even if that’s all Dean wanted.

“How did you find me anyway?”

“Crowley told me where you were. Don’t change the subject.”

“That son of a bitch. Cas, leave. Just let me go. Please.”

Dean tried to free himself from Castiel’s grip but it couldn’t be done. The angel was too strong for him.

“Let me go, Cas.” He said, anger rising in his voice.

“I will not let you kill yourself, Dean. Even if I have to tie you up somewhere, you will not put a bullet through your head.”

And this is when Dean realised he wouldn’t win this argument. As much as he wanted to die, he was too tired to fight the angel. And Castiel seemed determined to save him somehow. Dean could hear it in his voice, see it in his face, and feel it in the hands holding him. Cas would never let him go. So Dean gave up the fight and let the angel win this time. And that night, instead of emptying a gun in his mouth, he just leaned over and kissed Castiel.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic. I also don't normally write in english so forgive any grammar/vocabulary mistakes, but I think it worked out okay. Thanks for reading. Feel free to leave constructive comments.
> 
> Originally posted on tumblr


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